So much has happened since my last correspondence, I’m not sure where to begin. So let’s start with caste shall we?

After building up the candy shop to highly successfully levels, I opened Sweet Revenge Imports & Exports. It’s been a year now and a very prosperous one at that. Lady Ania has stepped down to spend time with her family as head merchant in Port Kar, and I was named successor. This Friday, is the Merchant’s dinner celebrating my promotion within the city.

I am also a claimed woman now. I hate the man, he’s vile. He tried initially to do it secretively, but I got the upper hand and it is now recognized throughout Port Kart that I’m his woman. This man thinks that I can be shamed. I warned him in the beginning to not piss off the candy lady, but he hasn’t listened.

With eyes and ears everywhere in the city, I have recently learned of his deceit. The bastard actually thinks he can use me to take over Kar. And it would appear he’s in partnership with another Free Woman. Little does he know, the sleen, that he’s a marked man.

But in happier news, you remember that little boy Derek who used to follow me around Port Kar? You’d remember his mother Sara, my shop clerk, the one who passed. Well, my good fortune was able to buy him into the red caste and on my last trip north I brought him home. He’s got the same sense of humor. His clothing is a little well, less than, oh how to say this Ju. Well they are downright hideous! I’ve commissioned the seamstress to sew him a new wardrobe. Of course he’s fussing. I’ve also hired someone from the builder’s caste to fix up Sara’s old home for him.

Ju, he has her eyes. Every time I look into them I miss her. But, he brings me so much joy and happiness. It strange watching him run on the walls, I have to fight the urge to yell at him to get down from there, but now he belongs on them.

With him, he brought a bond, Fala. She’s feisty and confident slave. Reminds me of two others I used to know so long ago. I think she will work well with Kitten and Fat Bosk, neither of which like my ‘companion.’  They continuously cause trouble for him, but I don’t do anything about it. It’s not worth it as I rather enjoy annoying him. Derek hasn’t met the bastard yet. He’s been away. I keep hoping he’ll drown somewhere.

Please visit soon. I miss you.

With kindest regards,

Lady Beth Ronmark

As I moved back up the docks, cursing my misfortune, I’d literally bumped into him. A man I’d never seen before. Not that it surprised me; Port Kar is a huge city, booming with people. After apologizing for my foul language, I turned to head back into my shop. I felt someone following me.

Later in the day, the same man from the docks, bought candy from me. As I locked up the shop, I left the door unlocked as I made my way to my apartments upstairs. Securing those locks, I heard a voice “Lady Beth, your doors aren’t locked.” I smiled; it was the man from the docks. After reassuring him that Ben would be in to lock them, I changed out of my robes and into a nightgown, and crawled into bed for a peaceful slumber.

A few days later I would encounter this man again. I’d told Sa to keep an eye out for the thieving she-urts. Sa doesn’t listen to well. When I came down into my shop, I found myself hanging upside down, screaming for help. The only one to come to my aid was him. Dragging me out into the square he fought hard to claim me. But I won that battle.

A hand later, Ben went missing. I had so much work to do. As I came down from my apartment I’d found a bit of cake on a plate. I assumed Sa left it as a peace offering for almost getting me collared.  Enjoying it for breakfast, I found out later it might not have agreed with me. I went to the tavern for some peppermint tea with my clerk’s 6 year-old son. I couldn’t handle the smell of the food; instead I was throwing up over the side of the railing. My face and veil covered in the contents of my belly. Feeling a hand going around my shoulder, comforted by a soothing voice, it was him, again coming to my aid. He stayed with me while the physician looked me over. The next day I hired him to replace Ben.

He worked hard for me over the next few weeks as we prepared for a trading expedition in the North. Our stops were Skjern, Axe Fjord, and the Village of Piedmont. As we set sail out of Port Kar, Atheas and his slaves joining us, we caught a very large shark. It was fun working hard beside him. Skjern was profitable for us. Axe Fjord, not so much. The Village of Piedmont not at all.

Meeting a fellow Merchant along the way, Atheas decided to hit a few extra ports, while we headed home to Port Kar. Looking at the merchandise that still needed to be traded, some of the fruits rotting, we decided to try Tyros on the way. An enemy, I knew this was a risk. When they asked where I was from, I lied through my teeth, telling them Caffa.

But our lucked didn’t hold out. As trouble fell on us I heard him yell, “RUN! I will catch up with you at home.” I arrived back in Port Kar tired and worried. That was three hands ago.

He still hasn’t.

Every night, when the city goes calm, I nod to the guard at the gate and sit on the steps, watching the water for any sign of him. Waiting, aching for his return.

Sundance knew Beth as a slave and she was in Mehrunes care for a few hands while Blue plotted to steal a slave he was smitten with when he was in Telenus! Happy Reading!!!!

[19:10]  Hew Dawid: Tal

[19:10]  Dark Starr: Tal Sundance!

[19:10]  erin27 Bailey: I have heard kalana is very good

[19:10]  Dark Starr laughs

[19:10]  Sundance Churchill smiles as he approaches, “Exactly, Tal, Dark! How are you old friend?” he nods a greeting to the others.

[19:10]  Beth Ronmark moves behind Dark, turning red as she looks up spying Sundance, swallowing hard as she turns around facing the slave, head lowering as she hears his name, turning, eyes lowered “Tal Sir.”

[19:10]  MingMing Charisma: The First Captain is very knowledgeable on mixology, and particularly drinks with umbrellas

[19:11]  MingMing Charisma: *she grins*

[19:11]  Dark Starr laughs to Sugars comment, eyes sparkling in good humor

[19:11]  erin27 Bailey: wine and fur coats, what a city
[19:12]  Dark Starr: Only the best a pirate can obtain in Port Kar, I tell ye.. arrrr

[19:12]  Beth Ronmark reaches into her pocket pulling out another piece of candy, nerves making her hands shake as she raises it up to her mouth, turning to doc “Doc, go to my shop and get Lady Erin and I a few of those special cherries and some of the juice too. Harta”

[19:12]  erin27 Bailey: really, I’d love to try some

[19:12]  Dark Starr: So *ahem* I am well enough Sundance. Tis good to see you old friend.

[19:13]  MingMing Charisma: Yes Mistress!

[19:13]  Sundance Churchill: Good to see you as well..

[19:13]  Sundance Churchill shrugs, “I was just returning from a dreadfully unprofitable trip to the northern forests and the captain said he needed supplies and was stopping here.. so I have a few hours to kill.”

[19:13]  erin27 Bailey: whispers to Lady Beth—special cherries?

[19:13]  Beth Ronmark nods “the ones we had earlier”

[19:14]  Dark Starr: Ah well then a drink to kill to take the edge off an unprofitable trip. Maybe a girl and alcove if you had the inclination we might scrounge up one

[19:14]  erin27 Bailey: grins, your wine does sound wonderful

[19:15]  Sundance Churchill looks over at Beth and tilts his head, he wrinkles his brow, scrunching up his nose and turns to the warrior, “Tal Rarius.. I am Sundance, Slaver..”

[19:15]  Hew Dawid: Tal well met I’m Hew

[19:15]  erin27 Bailey: frowns at the word slaver……looks down in disgust

[19:15]  MingMing Charisma: *She returns briskly, carrying a goblet in each hand, in which plenty of brandied cherries and syrup have been poured, with little prongs stuck in the midst, to spear the treats with*

[19:16]  Sundance Churchill smiles and chuckles noting the usual response from free women, “Well met Hew..”

[19:16]  MingMing Charisma: *she offers the goblets to Beth and Erin*

[19:16]  Hew Dawid: or stick around and watch the entertainment

[19:17]  erin27 Bailey: takes the goblet and eats one savoring the flavor and the juice

[19:17]  Beth Ronmark turns red, skin burning hot as she catches Sundance’s look, grabbing the goblet from doc, pops on of the cherries into her mouth and drains the juice, eyes closing as she takes a deep breath to calm her nerves

[19:18]  erin27 Bailey: looks at the Captain….thinking there will be no entertainment here

[19:18]  Beth Ronmark clearing her throat, straightens her spine as she gains some liquid courage “Tal Sundance, how have you been?”

[19:18]  Hew Dawid: smiles watching

[19:18]  erin27 Bailey: eats another cherry and drinks the liquid, it burns as it goes down

[19:19]  MingMing Charisma: Mistress, the First Captain would likely be someone you might inquire as to where to start your search for your sister?

[19:19]  Sundance Churchill lets a grin creep on to the corners of his lips as he turns to Dark, muttering, “Alcove.. hmm.. I suppose I might end up in one.. but.. a drink seems a good place to start” He pauses and bites his lips before replying, “Tal…” he emphasizes the title with amusement, “LADY Beth..”

[19:19]  erin27 Bailey: stares at the girl…shhh…you will not speak of her unless I do

[19:20]  MingMing Charisma: Yes Mistress.

[19:20]  erin27 Bailey: giggles and looks at Lady Beth—it grows warm out here

[19:21]  Sundance Churchill looks up at Beth and then to Erin, “I have no doubt of that, Lady”

[19:22]  Beth Ronmark glares at the handsome rogue as his emphasis of the word LADY doesn’t go unnoticed. Nodding her head at Erin “It does,” reaching into the goblet, pulls out another cherry, popping it into her mouth as she turns her gaze from Sundance to look out over the harbor at the ships.

[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: frowns,
[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: drinks deeply
[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: mmmm…delicious

[19:22]  Dark Starr looks about without a hint he even heard what was spoken by Sugar and the Lady, or else not going to poke his nose into it, his list of true work way to long and in arrears. “So Sundance, seems sugar is the only slave around to serve you tonight if you forgot how to pour a mug yourself.”

[19:23]  erin27 Bailey: looks to the first captain….wine and fur coats….you promised…giggles

[19:23]  MingMing Charisma: *smirks*

[19:23]  Sundance Churchill waves his hand around indifferently, “It’s fine Dark.. I can find a barrel to pass out under easy enough..”

[19:25]  Beth Ronmark inhaling, the salty air filling her lungs as she’s pulled back to reality, hearing Erin talk of fur coats and wines, lowering her head to whisper in doc’s ears instructing her to cut off Lady Erin from anymore of the “special” cherries and alcohol of any kind before straightening up “I have no doubt there’s a familiar barrel around here somewhere for you Sir.”

[19:26]  erin27 Bailey: fans herself……it is so warm
[19:26]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Lady Beth—your face seems flushed too

[19:26]  MingMing Charisma: Masters, Mistresses, Sugar must soon attend her Mistress’s pantry. May she be excused?

[19:26]  Sundance Churchill purses his lips a moment, looking down into the girls cleavage, he lets his eyes trail up Beth’s dress, slowly, methodically, instinctively assessing her as any of his caste would, a twinkle in his eye as they fall on her rosy cheeks, “Special cherries…”

[19:27]  Hew Dawid: yes brandied I an to believe

[19:27]  erin27 Bailey: does not look at the slaver showing her distain

[19:28]  Beth Ronmark hrmpfs “From work lady I assure you, there is no other reason for my cheeks to be red” her heart beginning to pound as she feels Sundance’s eyes running over her, popping the last cherry into her mouth “So, Dark, am I to send Ben with the dispatch to Tancred’s Landing and Kieran Ely to see if he’s available?”

[19:29]  Sundance Churchill blinds and turns to the men in turn, “Some festivity tonight?”

[19:29]  Dark Starr: Aye Lady that would be beneficial to Port Kar and for the injured and weak.
[
19:29]  Hew Dawid: turns to look at the girl in his aft

[19:29]  Lipin Frog’s amber eyes wonders about the group, a smirk comes across the face though perhaps best to disappear before someone shouts out after the Frog

[19:29]  erin27 Bailey: giggles, ahh a dance

[19:31]  Hew Dawid: there might very well be a “party”

[19:31]  Beth Ronmark quirks her brow, distracted slightly “I’ll have Ben leave in the morning. He can deliver the honey we got from Hammerskog. Should be a good bit of coin for that sale.”

[19:31]  Sundance Churchill waves

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: what kind of party

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: dancing

[19:31]  Hew Dawid: yes dancing might happen

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: wine

[19:32]  Beth Ronmark shakes her head, glaring at Erin “Careful what you wish to do Lady.”

[19:32]  Hew Dawid: ill get you all the wine you need lady

[19:32]  Sundance Churchill: Sounds like a potentially dangerous combination..

[19:32]  Hew Dawid: danger? nay no danger

[19:32]  erin27 Bailey: giggles, I can hold my own Sir—laughs

[19:33]  Hew Dawid: indeed lady?

[19:33]  erin27 Bailey: smiles….indeed

[19:33]  Hew Dawid: well you just enjoy all you can

[19:33]  Beth Ronmark mutters “Obviously not. A few fermented cherries and a bit of the juice and” pointing her finger at the side of her head swirling it in small circles.

[19:34]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Beth and whispers, trust me I am fine

[19:34]  Beth Ronmark rolling her eyes, head shaking back and forth ‘If you say so.”

[19:35]  Hew Dawid: those are lovely earrings Lady who pierced your ears?

[19:35]  Sundance Churchill chuckles, “earrings??”

[19:35]  You decline Central Fire’s Casting 4 A Cure!!! from A group member named Athan Ansar.

[19:35]  Hew Dawid: Why yes slaver, see how they sparkle

[19:36]  erin27 Bailey: my ears are not pierced sir and if you must know they came from my mother

[19:36]  Hew Dawid: Tal Meh and Ania

[19:36]  erin27 Bailey: now shall we have some wine

[19:36]  Mehrunes Unsworth: good evening

[19:36]  Beth Ronmark turning paler looks between Sundance and Mehrunes and back to Sundance again, muttering under her breath about the world swallowing her whole “Tal Free”

[19:36]  Sundance Churchill looks to his left, “Tal Meh!” he shrugs and replies dryly turning to Beth briefly, “I only collar free woman who beg for it..”

[19:36]  Ania Starfall smiles as she holds out her hand: Tal Father *bows her head politely* Captain Hew *sneers* Sundance… ladies *holds out her hand* Mehrunes

[19:37]  Dark Starr: Aye Sun, they are too much trouble otherwise but I’d not be above the occasional lesson

[19:37]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Beth at the comment and sees her blush…whispers he takes off your clothes with his eyes…you should leave

[19:38]  Sundance Churchill leans in, his excellent hearing a trait inherited from his father, he whispers louder, “I already know what lies beneath dear,, and I am no threat to her.. only she can betray herself..”

[19:38]  Beth Ronmark swallowing hard at his pointed words, suddenly feeling very naked, straightening the steel in her spine, whispering back to Erin “I’m fine.” casting a sideways glance to Mehrunes, breathing a small sigh of relief. eyes again filling with panic as she hears Sundance’s words, glaring at him

[19:39]  erin27 Bailey: all I wanted was a glass of wine

[19:40]  Sundance Churchill averts his gaze from Beth to give her a rest and turns to his old friend, “How have you been Meh? It’s been ages..”

[19:40]  Mehrunes Unsworth: ups and downs

[19:40]  erin27 Bailey: whispers quietly to Beth—did you? with him? a slaver??

[19:40]  Hew Dawid: I think you should have wine lady wash that dessert down

[19:40]  Sundance Churchill smiles, “Life or slave girls?”

[19:41]  erin27 Bailey: smiles yes, that would be nice

[19:41]  Beth Ronmark looking into the bottom of the empty goblet, cursing under her tongue. Looks up at Ania “Lady how have you been?” pointedly ignoring Erin’s question.

[19:42]  erin27 Bailey: Smiles to the Captain, the wine Sir—laughs

[19:43]  Ania Starfall looks over and forces a smile: I am well, I did want to speak to you about an order of your wares sometime later this hand

[19:43]  Hew Dawid: it’s in the tavern lady

[19:43]  Beth Ronmark nods “Most definitely Lady.”

[19:43]  erin27 Bailey: A lady does not go unescorted into the tavern

[19:44]  Hew Dawid: smiles

[19:44]  Mehrunes Unsworth: its finny to see them try though

[19:44]  Sundance Churchill snorts, not speaking to anyone in particular, “I like this game…”

[19:44]  Ania Starfall waves her arm and moves her head: fallow me I’ll be your escort, besides I have word I need to appraise the place for sale again

[19:45]  Hew Dawid: it’s a fun game indeed

[19:45]  erin27 Bailey: you speak of fur coats and wine

[19:45]  Dark Starr: Aye, have fun all I need to oversee some building on the Green Pier

[19:45]  erin27 Bailey: and then have none—laughs.

[19:46]  Ania Starfall: well wishes father

[19:46]  Hew Dawid: oh I have luxurious furs lady

[19:46]  erin27 Bailey: from your travels

[19:46]  Hew Dawid: luscious and deep like the wine you crave

[19:47]  erin27 Bailey: yes the wine, I could really use some

[19:47]  Sundance Churchill snickers and wanders over closer to Beth, “So.. what do you do here in Kar?” he arches an eyebrow.

[19:47]  Hew Dawid: well there is my office I may have a bottle there

[19:48]  erin27 Bailey: I would love to try it

[19:48]  Beth Ronmark running her palms, down her skirt, drying them briefly , eyes looking down at the stones beneath her feet wondering just how fast they could carry her in these shoes. Looking up swallowing hard as she feels him close to her, muttering “I … I…I” biting her lip, looking him square in the eyes, her shoulders going back with proud indignation “Oh hell I’m the candy shop owner.”

[19:49]  Djinn Christensen waves as he dashes by

[19:49]  Hew Dawid: indeed? well lady ill gladly show you it

[19:50]  Sundance Churchill claps his hands together and rubs them roughly, “What kinds of candy? what’s your specialty?”

[19:51]  Sundance Churchill looks around and notes everyone has left, “He checks his breath and pits”

[19:51]  Beth Ronmark eyes discreetly looking him over, reaching into her pocket for another bit of candy, growling “damn things aren’t working” muttering to herself “Come I’ll show”
[19:51]  Beth Ronmark: *you

[19:54]  Sundance Churchill whispers, “What are they supposed to be doing?” he nods his head indicating he will follow

[19:54]  Ania Starfall shouts: CAPTIAN DIJINN!

[19:54]  Djinn Christensen shouts: aye lass?

[19:54]  Beth Ronmark shrugs “Whom?” leading the way to her shop

[19:55]  Djinn Christensen shouts: come on in its unlocked

Entering the Candy Shoppe

[19:55]  Sundance Churchill steps up, perhaps too close, he leans in and takes a whiff of her hair, “Spectacular” he whispers.

[19:56]  Beth Ronmark enters, feeling at ease in her own surroundings, feeling him behind her, skin tingling, burning as she turns around to face him “Welcome to Sweet Revenge Sir, best candy in all of Gor!”

[19:57]  Sundance Churchill tilts his head and looks at her, he reaches up and brushes an errant hair off her cheek, and “It is splendid. I am happy you have found a place that makes you happy..” his gaze softens and he looks around at the confections.

[19:59]  Beth Ronmark eyes closing, head turning gently into his hand as he brushes the hair from her cheek, a single tear escaping, rolling down the swell of her cheek as her eyes open “It is” pausing “home.”

[19:59]  Sundance Churchill turns a bit, still looking around, he whispers, “If you need anything you only need ask..”

[20:01]  Beth Ronmark licks her lips, whispering “There is a lot I need” walking behind the counter pulling out a jar of the ‘special’ cherries “care to try one?”

[20:02]  Sundance Churchill extends his hand and smiles, “Name it.. what do you need?”

[20:03]  Beth Ronmark opens the jar, pulling out a cherry, popping it into her mouth before giving him one “Ohhh, that’s so loaded Sir.”

[20:04]  Sundance Churchill leans against the wall and turns to face her, “Have you ever known me to be deceptive or honor less?

[20:06]  Beth Ronmark shakes her head “No, for the entire time I’ve known you you’ve only been honorable.” eyes lowering, her voice with it “It’s been a long time. I’ve tried everything to stop the craving. Ju said it would go away.” looking up at him, eyes darkening “but it just won’t!”

[[20:08]  Beth Ronmark eyes brimming over “and it’s not just that! Do you know the last time I was held?” turning her back to him. “I look at the slaves cradled by their Masters, the gentle looks sometimes between companions and I realize for the first time I’m alone.”

[20:09]  Sundance Churchill smiles sympathetically, “Is it so bad? It is impossible for an inferno to become a matchstick, Beth.. you do not have to deny what you are deep inside.. there is no failure in being a vibrant and vital woman.. a complete woman.. you just have to be careful who knows it.. lest you lose what you think you want.” he shrugs a bit and makes sure no one is peering in the window of the shop, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her in tightly, whispering, “You are not alone..”

[20:12]  Beth Ronmark body shaking as she sobs letting her body relax against his, tears leaving a mark on his tunic as she rests her cheek against his cheast, breathing in his familiar smell. Sniffing, slightly chuckling “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be such a woman crying like this.”

As I sit in my apartment, the sounds of Port Kar are drowned out by the loneliness in my heart. It’s been some time now that I was released. My life as a Free Woman often feels like a lie, even worse a nightmare I can’t wake up from. So foolish I was to challenge him like I did. So foolish to never truly show him the depths of my feelings for him. Looking back I told him thousands of times that I loved him, but how often did I make him feel it with my actions. If only I could go back and try again. But would it have ended any different?

The other day I thought I saw him in Kar. Rumor around the city is that he was in the port, but at that point I’d just returned from Hammerskog and was busy with the paper work for their next order.

To look at me, one would not realize the true feelings that lie inside. I don’t stay busy just for the success, but more for the fact that it stops me, most days from thinking about him. I smile when I would really like to curl up and cry. Every day is the same, I continue to live, ignoring the pain, the heartache as I screw on a smile and go about my business.

Ben knows the truth. He is a good man. On our trip he made sure I had my space to let my pain take over. Something about the lull of sea gives me the freedom to cry, to feel angry. It holds me, cradling my broken soul bringing me comfort. For a moment it is though I’m safe again in his arm, the feel of his collar heavy around my neck. If I close my eyes tight enough I can hear his voice on the ocean wind, his smell surrounding me as the wind blows into the sails.

There is a song I would listen to on earth, never really understanding the words, now I understand them.

“What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken”

As I dry my eyes, preparing again to lead my new life, I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing. Does he think of me? Does he hurt and crave for me as much as I hurt and crave for him? I miss him. Will this ever go away?

With much love,

Lady Beth

After docking and securing the ship, we leave the ship in search of Francico the honey merchant I was told to meet with. After inquiring his whereabouts I learn, from a rather strange woman, that he has left town.

Disappointed by the news, she offers to sell me her honey. She has 12 jars under her bed. After inquiring if she could meet the terms that Francico and I had discussed earlier, she left shaking her head completely confused. Obviously the woman has no head for business whatsoever.

Making our way to the long hall for something to eat and a drink, we happen upon Lady Amber, who of course right away asks if I brought anymore of my delicious fudge. Lifting the rep cloth off of my basket I happily share some with her.

“I have three cases of the fudge on the ship if you’d be interested in purchasing some,” I offer.

As I watch sadness wash over the woman’s face, she informs me that someone has burnt and destroyed all of their crops. They can’t survive on fudge, they need food and seeds to replant to restock their coffers by the next winter.

Listening to her tale of what I happen I offer the services of the Dark Star Mercantile. Sending a dispatch to Dark I ask him to send a ship with the following supplies:

At a cost of five silver tarsks bits, with a 10 percent commission for myself for procuring the sale, as per our previously agreed terms.

Reassuring Lady Amber; Ju, Twist, Ben and I, head back to the ship for the night and prepare to set sail for Skjern in the morning. I’m going to have to go in full robes so as not to be recognized. I’d spent a month there with Blue when I was his slave. No need to end up back in a collar.

Dear Dark:

My travels have taken me back to Hammerskog to secure a contract for continuous shipments of honey. A few hands ago their crops were attacked and ruined.

I’ve offered them some help, for a small feel. Please send a ship with the following items:

• 20 bags of suls
• 15 bags of onions
• 5 crates of ta-grapes
• 5 crates of tospits
• 5 crates larma
• 10 crates of ramberries
• 10 crates beans
• 10 crates carrots
• 15 bags sa-tarna for making bread
• 15 bags of Kort

along with seeds for planting suls, onions, carrots and sa-tarna.

I promised them a shipment from your shipping company in three hands if you have a holding close enough.  The payment terms  is 1 5 silver tarsks upon delivery. The shipment is to go to  Lady Amberyl Ethaniel.

The cut for my services in arrange this shipment is 10 percent  and can be deposited in my account at the Port Kar bank.

Best wishes, see you when I return home from this trip!

Sincerely,

Lady Beth Ronmark

The version that made me cry:

The original:

The lyrics:

Don’t… don’t you wish we tried?
Do you feel what I feel inside?
You know our love is stronger than pride… oh
No don’t… don’t let your anger grow
Just tell me what you need me to know
Please talk to me, don’t close the door

Hmmm, ’cause I wanna hear you
I wanna be near you

Don’t fight, don’t argue
Give me the chance to say that I’m sorry
Just let me love you
Don’t turn me away
Don’t tell me to go

Don’t!… Don’t give up on trust
Don’t give up on me, on us
If we could just hold on long enough

Hmmm, we can do it
We’ll get through it

Don’t fight, don’t argue
Just give me the chance to say that I’m sorry
Just let me love you
Don’t turn me away, don’t tell me to go

Don’t pretend that it’s okay
Things won’t get better that way
Don’t do something you might regret someday…
Don’t!

Don’t give up on me
Hmm, Don’t!
(We can do it) We’ll get through it

Don’t fight, don’t argue
Just give me the chance to say that I’m sorry
Just let me love you
Don’t turn me away, don’t tell me to go

Don’t! (Don’t fight dont argue)
Don’t give up on me
(Give me the chance to say that I’m sorry)
Say that that I’m sorry
(Just let me love you)
Don’t give up on me
(Don’t turn me away)
Don’t tell me to go

Don’t!
(Don’t fight don’t argue)
Don’t give up on me
(Give me the chance to say that I’m sorry)
Say that that I’m sorry
(Just let me love you)
Dont give up on me
(Don’t turn me away)
Don’t tell me to go…

As I entered the shop a sense of peace came over me. Oh how wonderful to be home. My heart was healing. Slowly the thoughts of being his slave were going from my mind. The busier I kept myself, the less I thought about him. The busier I kept myself the more I healed. By day I was finding my place in this world, settling comfortably into my new life; independent, strong and growing financially successful once more. But at night, as I lay sleeplessly in my bed letting the ships rocking sooth my battered soul, I would think of him. My hands running through his blue hair, how I would writhe helplessly against him during the passion-filled nights he called me “mine,” the feel of his lips as they pressed against mine. At night the familiar longing was at its strongest.

As I fight to hide the slave desires I’d so freely given into just a short time ago, as they would most definitely end me back in a collar, I begin to understand the angst of the Free Women I’d once loathed. I wasn’t the one who was a slave, they were. While there are certain freedoms they enjoy, the greatest pleasure they are denied.

I’m missing my home on Earth, something I hadn’t done for the four years as a slave. Life wasn’t like that for me there. I was able to be the strong successful career woman, while embracing and being open with my own sexual needs. The major difference is it was rare to find a man who was strong enough to invoke that in me. I was the one taking what I wanted when I really wanted someone to take it from me. If only these two worlds and their cultures could blend.

Hearing some rustling behind me I’m lured from my thoughts back to reality. Looking towards the door way, my heart is caught in my throat at the sight of May. Biting my lower lip, fighting back the mix of anger and tears I ask “Tal May,” looking past her, “Is he here with you?”

Shaking her blue locks, the same striking color as his, my heart races wondering, “No, he’s sleeping off a drinking binge on the boat. It’ll be a few days before he’s moving again.”

I watch her eyes widen as she looks at the sweets in the shop, knowing my former chain sister so well, I turn to her, “Help yourself May, on the house.”

As she stammers “Oh no, I got the money Master gave me in this pouch,” we are interrupted by a familiar voice, laughing as he tsks at me “Lady Beth you’re going to make me worry about you giving away your potential profits, listen to the girl and take the coin.”

Fighting the urge to leap at him, hugging him close, my eyes shinning at the sight of my good friend. Oh how I missed him during my journey. “DARK!,” I exclaim. “Well I suppose I can take more of that bastards coin and add it to what he left me in the bank,” and with a slow smile curling my lips “And add that to the coin that I made on my journey.”

Rambling on I share with him the contracts I picked up from Kieran Ely and about the Hammerskog honey, as well as about meeting Nero, the farmer outside of Port Kar earlier in the day. As we talked about my next journey he passed some information to my shipwright Ben to include as he plans our next voyage. We’ll be heading North again to Hammerskog to finalize the contract for the honey and the sale of my candy in their bakery, then over to Skjern to possibly set up another trade agreement, down to Axes Fjord, to Dark’s holdings in the south to pick up some livestock for the farmer, up to Tancred’s Landing and back to Port Kar. I initially thought to add Tyros for cherries, but Dark informed me that magically every third shipment of cherries that leaves there docks some how ends up in Port Kar, to which he informed me that I may use as many as I would like. I think my heart did a little dance at the thought of pure profit from that idea.

Curiosity getting the better of Dark, he orders May to move her camisk aside. It turns out he wanted to see if her hair on her head matched her hair on her heat. Disappointed there is not there on May, she keeps it bald as a baby’s backside.

As I watch both of their desires growing I can’t help but feel that familiar twinge stirring in my belly. Frustrated that I can’t embrace it, I take a peppermint stick from the jar and begin sucking hard on the candy as I excuse myself to check on things on my ship. On the way out the door, I glare jealously at May, giving her a light kick as I pass by.

Yup, I definitely have a new understanding to the torment of the Gorean Free Woman.

* Note: For RP purposes to create a sense of realism Beth has been released for three months, but in RL time only a week. The power of the SL teleport is a blessing and a curse.

There was much shock as I walked in with my Free Women dress on. Twist grabbed reassuringly at my hem as I greeted. “Tal Free, Tal Kajirae.” As I looked around nervously I feel a hand on my elbow it was Kieran Ely, physician to Tancred’s Landing.

“Ah, Lady Beth I see you made it safely, where is Ben?” he asked

“Tal Sir, I let him on the boat feeling I would be safe among friends here,” my eyes looking around for my Master. A soft sadness filling in as I realize he’s not in attendance tonight.

Poking my basket, Kieran’s curiosity got the better of him “What’s in there?” he asked.

Smiling, a soft bit of laughter crawling from under my veil, “I’m the confectioner in Port Kar, lately I’ve been traveling setting up trade agreements for my sweets and procuring new items to sell. Recently Sir I met with a merchant in Hammerskog about their famous honey. It looks as though I will have that contract soon.”

Kieran’s eyes light up at the mention of honey and sweets. Reaching into the basket I pull out a rep cloth with some fudge in it. Handing some to Twist, I offer a taste to Kieran.

“Lady I myself dabble in making homemade meads and brandy, perhaps you like some for your sweets,” he states popping a bit of the treat into his mouth, his eyes widening, “These are really good, don’t tell Dania, she’s concerned about my waistline.”

As we laugh and talk, strolling towards the square, we work out a deal. I will purchase a crate of honey and deliver it to Kieran. When he runs low he can send word to my shop in Port Kar. Another sale and loyal customer for the former slave turned merchant. I’m feeling in my element, I was a great investigative reporter, but mainly because of my business sense. I’ve missed this.

Entering into the square I greet the Free I used to kneel, naked in front of “Tal Free.”

It was weird hearing the ‘Tal Lady Beth’s’, but Kieran, Master to my dear friend Mily made sure they knew I was his guest, that I was to be respected for my new position in Gor. As we take a seat on the benches, we are introduced to Thor, a physician from the north.

Overhearing our talk of mead and my travels to Hammerskog, he interjects opening pulling his horn and taking a drink. Kieran, meanwhile, pulls out a few vials from his pocket and hands one to me and one Thor, “This is the mead I make, along with some that have fruit variants, try some.”

Opening the vial, placing it to my lips I drink the mead in, letting it wash over my tongue, eyes closing as I taste the wonderful bouquets of flavors mixed in. Smiling I swallow the drink “Sir, this is lovely, I have a proposition for you.”

Joking Thor teases “I have my sword handy Sir, I can draw you a circle.”

Kieran is laughing knowing full well that I’m learning states “A proposition from a beautiful lady can be dangerous.”

Blushing with embarrassment, I stammer “Oh, mmyy Sir, my apologies, I meant a business proposition.” Taking a deep breath I continue talking “Say I order a few casks of your mead in different flavors to offer as samples. For every cask I sell you give me 40 percent.”

Intrigued he agrees to give it a try. As we continue to work out the details I notice the light being blocked from my eyes. Towering before me is Thor, the seven foot Torvelsander. Looking up at him I feel my hand lifted from my lap, his lips pressing into my fingers. Eyes going wide in shock, not sure what to do, my look darts towards Kieran while secretly the slave fires in my belly begin to smolder. Fidgeting on the bench I wonder silently when this feeling will go away and I will frost up. Wondering if I will ever learn how to react so as not to give myself away, there is no way I can end up back in a collar, not unless it’s for my Master.

Kieran riding to my rescue chastises the man as Thor speaks, wanting to buy mead from me. I offer him two barrels for two silver tarsk bits each. Dropping a gold tarn disk on my lap he tells me to keep the change. Picking my jaw up off the floor, I pocket the coin and send Twist to let Ben know to make a ledger note to bring him two casks from our next trip to Hammerskog.

Kieran again reminds the man that I am a respectable Free Woman and while he might be from the north, he’s now in the south and not to be so bold. Taking me by the elbow, Kieran leads me back to the docks where I retire to my quarters on the ship.

By keeping busy I haven’t had much time to think about Master, but that was about to change. Ju’s employer had sent word for her to meet him in Hammerskog. Wanting to set up new trade routes I packed up some of the sweets, left kitten in the city kennels and set sale for the north with Ju and my hired guard Ben.

Stepping off the boats was awkward. When I traveled with Master I work camisks or nothing. It made it easier when your legs were all wobbly from the time spent sailing on the water, the heavy skirts of my dress made it extremely difficult. Tottering off the plank and down to the docks, my hand grasped Ben’s arm to steady myself. Straightening my skirts, I follow Ju towards the city gates.

Looking around, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves, I spy something blue sitting along the dock. My legs weaken underneath me. Could it be? Could it be my Master? Lifting my skirts I sprint toward the figure and stopping cold in my tracks, the wind kicked out of me. It wasn’t my Master but my chain sister May. He was here. My heart begins to race as I look around frantically for him.

“May?” my voice quivering “Where is he? Please May,” I begged, “where is he?” Tears brimming in my eyes as she looks at me, shaking her head.

“He left me here in the kennels for a few days while he searches about. He’s looking for something,” shrugging May adds “No clue when he’ll be back.”

Again the wind is kicked out of me as I listen to what May tells me. Ordering her to heel, mainly in hopes that he’d show, but also because I adore May, I’ve missed her terribly as well. I move quickly back by Ju who’s already told the guard of our business and waiting for me inside the gates.

Once inside, I meet Lady Amber. Sharing some sweets with her, she informs us that she thinks the city would benefit from the trade and begins to rave about their honey. Leading us to the bakery she gets us a sample and it was pure heaven. When she said it was the best honey, so far, she’s not wrong. It was total delight. As the wheels begin to turn I realize that this could not only be used to make some of my sweets, I could sell jars of it at a slight mark up in my shop in Port Kar. As I’m about to ask her who sells the honey, something hits me hard, moving me forward, my feet stumbling as I almost fall to the ground.

“Well, well it’s Beth. How the hell did you get free?”

Whipping around eyes glaring at the familiar voice. No other could send shivers down my spine as much as this woman’s.

“Tal Bandit, I hope you are well,” I reply to the former banker of Port Kar.

This was the woman who made every slave run the other way. Fearing her was not only wise but good for your health in general.

“Do you think your so high and mighty now?” she asks “Don’t you remember crawling around naked, collared and brushing my hair for hours?”

Glaring again at her, I need to shut her up before one of the men heard. No reason for the world to know I was a slave. I might not stay free long enough if it gets found out and how would I again find my Master. I had to stay free. Panicking I look at Ju and May, watching Ju’s horror, she’s trying to turn the conversation and attention away from Bandit. May on the other hand is clenching her fists trying hard not to leap at the woman. Bless May, if Bandit were a slave she’d be regretting her decision to try and belittle me.

“As I remember you’re” I state pointedly. Lying through my teeth as my voice lowers to a serious tone “We’ve both paid for our crimes, let’s leave it at that, shall we?”

Watching the fear fill her eyes, I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear her exclaim “The past is the past Beth, yes let’s leave it at that.” Turning on her heel she storms off.

Amber whispers in a hushed tone “I was a slave once, your secret is safe.” Nodding, my color returning, my heart no longer racing like a thousand Kailla’s through the plains, Amber informs me that the merchant is retired for the evening and that he should be able to meet with me tomorrow.

Wandering around the city, Ju sets up a few new contracts to paint some of the men and their free women, I hand out my samples to rave reviews, and May teeters along behind us when Ju has an idea. Tired from traveling, she looks at May.

“Beth I have an idea, let’s say we put the coin box on May and send her into the long” shaking her head “the long – Oh hell what is it?”

“Hall,” I offer up at the same time May says “House.”

Laughing, I look at May. Lowering my voice because I can’t yet bring myself to call him by his given name “Do you think Master will mind? I know he didn’t with me when we’d run into you.” looking at May “But it could be a way to replenish the coffers faster.” my eyes turning green at the thought of more coin.

I have  a degree in Marketing and Business, as well as a Master’s in Journalism. Oh how those classes serve me well. It felt good to be able to use my skills for something other than just baking. Master didn’t have much need for my business head, however my journalism skills he used a few times. I remember times he would call me a snoop and a gossip, but that kept him alive a few times.

Approaching a man, Ju asks him where the long hall is, that we’d like to turn May out there to earn some coin. Not really paying attention, the man and Ju go back and forth on why would we turn out something someone can take for free. Ju explained the purpose of a coin slut. After him asking May who owned her, I see Ju’s face go white as the man asks why we would use someone elses property for our own gain. Shaking my head, I turn toward the conversation and with a bold face lie state, “Sorry I was lost in thought.”

Looking straight at the man state, “Her Master left her in my care while he is traveling rather than paying the kennel fees in Port Kar, he told me to use her as I see fit, and if that means strapping a coin box on her and turning her out that would be my business wouldn’t it Sir?”

Pulse racing again as I look over at Ben, he’s just shaking his head at me with an amused smile. Breathing out hard as the man starts to laugh, pointing to the back of the village “It’s back there though I doubt you’ll make much coin off of her.”

Thanking him we turn towards the direction he pointed and begin moving that way. Strapping the coin box on May we take her inside. Ju is a pro at pimping out slave flesh as she smugly hires May out for the night. With a twinge of jealousy I watch May taken to an alcove. Again feeling that tightness in my chest I move towards the door and the fresh air. Looking at Ju, she knows, understanding and leads me to find the Inn. Paying for a room for her and a room for myself I retire for the night, dreaming that tomorrow I will see my Master, that he will recollar me and lead me from this hell I’m in.

To keep my mind of things I begin to plan the remodel of the candy shop. I’d been in enough of them when I was a child. Every summer we’d go to Wisconsin Dells and the streets were covered with shops, many of them selling sweets. The smell of the butter as it’s mixes with the brown sugar to make caramel corn, watching the taffy pullers stretching the sweet goodness by hand, the brightly colored lollypops and swirled peppermint sticks. When you enter into one of the stores it is a child’s heaven. The brightly colored wallpaper, the canisters lining the walls, the open bins of jelly beans and assortments of hard candies.

As I make my way down to the shop to look for wallpaper and paint I hear someone call out my name, turning around shocked it was Twist. Her Master is in town on business when she saw me walking across the square. Oh how I wanted to hug my friend, but she wouldn’t allow it as it’s not proper for a slave to hug a Free Women. Instead she walked with me as I told her how I became a free. In typical Twist fashion, she volunteers to help me with the shop, brightening it up, making it a more cheerful place to be.

After gathering our supplies we spend the next half of the day chatting away, working in the shop. Already with the wallpaper up, the woodwork painted white, and the entry way painted to look like a candy cane the place was coming along.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I notice the paint on my hands and gowns. I turned to Twist laughing “Look at the mess we’ve made,” smiling for the first time in days, looking to see who was in ear shot, lowered my voice “I’ve missed you my friend. I can’t tell you how much this has meant to me.”

“It’s my job,” pausing Twist adds “Mistress”

“Bah, you will call me Beth when your Master isn’t around, and don’t be surprised when I order you to stand,” sighing heavily “I just can’t imagine you kneeling and serving me. It just doesn’t feel right.”

As we finish up, the sun ascending to rest for the night, Twist’s Master arrives to collect her and begin their journey home. Watching my friend leave, my heart heavy again, wrapping my arms about my body, I stroll out the shop and over to the bakery. Cybele is in there working away, making the cannolli’s I’d taught her to make when I was a slave helping out.

“Tal Lady Beth,” states Cybele, “And how did the day find you.”

“Well Mis…” pausing “Cybele and you?” I reply.

As we chat away, kitten returns from her errand. I’d sent her out to fetch me some special supplies for making the candies I had in mind. It seems as though she’s also a she-urt attractor as a group of them ascends upon the bakery and candy shop.

Knowing full well that theft runs ramped in Port Kar, I make a deal with the gang of she-urts. I will provide them with candy at the end of everyday before fresh treats are made, if they promise not to steal. With the deal struck, kitten and I head out into the city to hand out samples of the fudge we’d made.

So far I was lucky that none of the Free, with the exception of Cybele and Dark, had realized who I was; a former slave, a nothing released by her Master. As we hand out treats, I see a familiar form on the docks. With tears brimming in my eyes I break out in a run, wrapping my arms around the smelly she-urt JuJu. She was a slave with me when I first came to Gor, having been released herself; Master would loan me out to her on occasion when we would be in the same city.

“I have this scroll and I honestly thought it was gossip,” exclaims Ju.

Shaking my head back and forth, “No Ju, it’s true.”

As we walk along the city I recant to her what had happened and how I came to have kitten as my slave. Taking her into the shop, offering her some sweets I hire her to paint pictures to brighten the walls. At least this way I can keep her around me for a while. I think I will have to find her more work.

After Ju left to get supplies and settle in, kitten and I tidy up. Hungry and thirsty we make the small trek next door to the bakery. As we enter my heart began to race. Sitting at one of the tables was Byron, the Port Kar blacksmith. With a lump in my throat I greet him and go to sit at a table in the corner on the other side of the room. Kitten, still having some fudge on her offers him a sample. She’s going to be good at this I think.

“Tal Master, would you like to try a sample of fudge that my Mistress made earlier today?” asked kitten.

With a slow smile, his eyes on me, he lifts up a piece of the fudge, cants his chin and before popping the treat into his mouth replies “Funny, I’d have thought these would have been “BLUE” berries.”

My eyes darting from him to the floor, skin going completely pale, clenching my jaw tight, order kitten to bring me some tea. Taking a few sips, the apprentice baker reminds me it will be two bits. As I reach into the pouch tucked inside my skirt I see Byron striding over to her, throwing the coin down.

“Consider it a welcome “home” gift” he states. Walking over to me now, his foot tapping the side of kitten’s knee “You might wanna consider getting her some knee pads.”

With my voice wavering, tears begin to burn down the swells of me cheek. Standing, I left the hem of my skirt and run out of the bakery to the docks, unable to breath. There was a time running used to bring me such peace, but now it’s a reminder of my Master, a reminder that I’m no longer his.

Holding onto one of the pier posts, my arms wrapping tightly around it, cheek resting against the woods as I continue to sob, I feel a hand on my shoulder as a comforting voice speaks, “It’ll be alright Mistress, you’ll see, it’ll be all right.” Clipping a leash onto kitten’s collar, we slowly walk back to the small apartment above the candy shop to sleep, to dream of my Master’s return.