My Life On Gor

Facing the past: Sundance finds Beth

May 13, 2010 at 11:43 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Writer’s note: Earlier in the night Lady Erin, Lady Pandora, Beth and Ming Ming (who Beth calls doc) were enjoying sa-paga soaked cherries in the candy shop. Erin is way more drunk than Beth.

Sundance knew Beth as a slave and she was in Mehrunes care for a few hands while Blue plotted to steal a slave he was smitten with when he was in Telenus! Happy Reading!!!!

[19:10]  Hew Dawid: Tal

[19:10]  Dark Starr: Tal Sundance!

[19:10]  erin27 Bailey: I have heard kalana is very good

[19:10]  Dark Starr laughs

[19:10]  Sundance Churchill smiles as he approaches, “Exactly, Tal, Dark! How are you old friend?” he nods a greeting to the others.

[19:10]  Beth Ronmark moves behind Dark, turning red as she looks up spying Sundance, swallowing hard as she turns around facing the slave, head lowering as she hears his name, turning, eyes lowered “Tal Sir.”

[19:10]  MingMing Charisma: The First Captain is very knowledgeable on mixology, and particularly drinks with umbrellas

[19:11]  MingMing Charisma: *she grins*

[19:11]  Dark Starr laughs to Sugars comment, eyes sparkling in good humor

[19:11]  erin27 Bailey: wine and fur coats, what a city
[19:12]  Dark Starr: Only the best a pirate can obtain in Port Kar, I tell ye.. arrrr

[19:12]  Beth Ronmark reaches into her pocket pulling out another piece of candy, nerves making her hands shake as she raises it up to her mouth, turning to doc “Doc, go to my shop and get Lady Erin and I a few of those special cherries and some of the juice too. Harta”

[19:12]  erin27 Bailey: really, I’d love to try some

[19:12]  Dark Starr: So *ahem* I am well enough Sundance. Tis good to see you old friend.

[19:13]  MingMing Charisma: Yes Mistress!

[19:13]  Sundance Churchill: Good to see you as well..

[19:13]  Sundance Churchill shrugs, “I was just returning from a dreadfully unprofitable trip to the northern forests and the captain said he needed supplies and was stopping here.. so I have a few hours to kill.”

[19:13]  erin27 Bailey: whispers to Lady Beth—special cherries?

[19:13]  Beth Ronmark nods “the ones we had earlier”

[19:14]  Dark Starr: Ah well then a drink to kill to take the edge off an unprofitable trip. Maybe a girl and alcove if you had the inclination we might scrounge up one

[19:14]  erin27 Bailey: grins, your wine does sound wonderful

[19:15]  Sundance Churchill looks over at Beth and tilts his head, he wrinkles his brow, scrunching up his nose and turns to the warrior, “Tal Rarius.. I am Sundance, Slaver..”

[19:15]  Hew Dawid: Tal well met I’m Hew

[19:15]  erin27 Bailey: frowns at the word slaver……looks down in disgust

[19:15]  MingMing Charisma: *She returns briskly, carrying a goblet in each hand, in which plenty of brandied cherries and syrup have been poured, with little prongs stuck in the midst, to spear the treats with*

[19:16]  Sundance Churchill smiles and chuckles noting the usual response from free women, “Well met Hew..”

[19:16]  MingMing Charisma: *she offers the goblets to Beth and Erin*

[19:16]  Hew Dawid: or stick around and watch the entertainment

[19:17]  erin27 Bailey: takes the goblet and eats one savoring the flavor and the juice

[19:17]  Beth Ronmark turns red, skin burning hot as she catches Sundance’s look, grabbing the goblet from doc, pops on of the cherries into her mouth and drains the juice, eyes closing as she takes a deep breath to calm her nerves

[19:18]  erin27 Bailey: looks at the Captain….thinking there will be no entertainment here

[19:18]  Beth Ronmark clearing her throat, straightens her spine as she gains some liquid courage “Tal Sundance, how have you been?”

[19:18]  Hew Dawid: smiles watching

[19:18]  erin27 Bailey: eats another cherry and drinks the liquid, it burns as it goes down

[19:19]  MingMing Charisma: Mistress, the First Captain would likely be someone you might inquire as to where to start your search for your sister?

[19:19]  Sundance Churchill lets a grin creep on to the corners of his lips as he turns to Dark, muttering, “Alcove.. hmm.. I suppose I might end up in one.. but.. a drink seems a good place to start” He pauses and bites his lips before replying, “Tal…” he emphasizes the title with amusement, “LADY Beth..”

[19:19]  erin27 Bailey: stares at the girl…shhh…you will not speak of her unless I do

[19:20]  MingMing Charisma: Yes Mistress.

[19:20]  erin27 Bailey: giggles and looks at Lady Beth—it grows warm out here

[19:21]  Sundance Churchill looks up at Beth and then to Erin, “I have no doubt of that, Lady”

[19:22]  Beth Ronmark glares at the handsome rogue as his emphasis of the word LADY doesn’t go unnoticed. Nodding her head at Erin “It does,” reaching into the goblet, pulls out another cherry, popping it into her mouth as she turns her gaze from Sundance to look out over the harbor at the ships.

[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: frowns,
[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: drinks deeply
[19:22]  erin27 Bailey: mmmm…delicious

[19:22]  Dark Starr looks about without a hint he even heard what was spoken by Sugar and the Lady, or else not going to poke his nose into it, his list of true work way to long and in arrears. “So Sundance, seems sugar is the only slave around to serve you tonight if you forgot how to pour a mug yourself.”

[19:23]  erin27 Bailey: looks to the first captain….wine and fur coats….you promised…giggles

[19:23]  MingMing Charisma: *smirks*

[19:23]  Sundance Churchill waves his hand around indifferently, “It’s fine Dark.. I can find a barrel to pass out under easy enough..”

[19:25]  Beth Ronmark inhaling, the salty air filling her lungs as she’s pulled back to reality, hearing Erin talk of fur coats and wines, lowering her head to whisper in doc’s ears instructing her to cut off Lady Erin from anymore of the “special” cherries and alcohol of any kind before straightening up “I have no doubt there’s a familiar barrel around here somewhere for you Sir.”

[19:26]  erin27 Bailey: fans herself……it is so warm
[19:26]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Lady Beth—your face seems flushed too

[19:26]  MingMing Charisma: Masters, Mistresses, Sugar must soon attend her Mistress’s pantry. May she be excused?

[19:26]  Sundance Churchill purses his lips a moment, looking down into the girls cleavage, he lets his eyes trail up Beth’s dress, slowly, methodically, instinctively assessing her as any of his caste would, a twinkle in his eye as they fall on her rosy cheeks, “Special cherries…”

[19:27]  Hew Dawid: yes brandied I an to believe

[19:27]  erin27 Bailey: does not look at the slaver showing her distain

[19:28]  Beth Ronmark hrmpfs “From work lady I assure you, there is no other reason for my cheeks to be red” her heart beginning to pound as she feels Sundance’s eyes running over her, popping the last cherry into her mouth “So, Dark, am I to send Ben with the dispatch to Tancred’s Landing and Kieran Ely to see if he’s available?”

[19:29]  Sundance Churchill blinds and turns to the men in turn, “Some festivity tonight?”

[19:29]  Dark Starr: Aye Lady that would be beneficial to Port Kar and for the injured and weak.
[
19:29]  Hew Dawid: turns to look at the girl in his aft

[19:29]  Lipin Frog’s amber eyes wonders about the group, a smirk comes across the face though perhaps best to disappear before someone shouts out after the Frog

[19:29]  erin27 Bailey: giggles, ahh a dance

[19:31]  Hew Dawid: there might very well be a “party”

[19:31]  Beth Ronmark quirks her brow, distracted slightly “I’ll have Ben leave in the morning. He can deliver the honey we got from Hammerskog. Should be a good bit of coin for that sale.”

[19:31]  Sundance Churchill waves

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: what kind of party

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: dancing

[19:31]  Hew Dawid: yes dancing might happen

[19:31]  erin27 Bailey: wine

[19:32]  Beth Ronmark shakes her head, glaring at Erin “Careful what you wish to do Lady.”

[19:32]  Hew Dawid: ill get you all the wine you need lady

[19:32]  Sundance Churchill: Sounds like a potentially dangerous combination..

[19:32]  Hew Dawid: danger? nay no danger

[19:32]  erin27 Bailey: giggles, I can hold my own Sir—laughs

[19:33]  Hew Dawid: indeed lady?

[19:33]  erin27 Bailey: smiles….indeed

[19:33]  Hew Dawid: well you just enjoy all you can

[19:33]  Beth Ronmark mutters “Obviously not. A few fermented cherries and a bit of the juice and” pointing her finger at the side of her head swirling it in small circles.

[19:34]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Beth and whispers, trust me I am fine

[19:34]  Beth Ronmark rolling her eyes, head shaking back and forth ‘If you say so.”

[19:35]  Hew Dawid: those are lovely earrings Lady who pierced your ears?

[19:35]  Sundance Churchill chuckles, “earrings??”

[19:35]  You decline Central Fire’s Casting 4 A Cure!!! from A group member named Athan Ansar.

[19:35]  Hew Dawid: Why yes slaver, see how they sparkle

[19:36]  erin27 Bailey: my ears are not pierced sir and if you must know they came from my mother

[19:36]  Hew Dawid: Tal Meh and Ania

[19:36]  erin27 Bailey: now shall we have some wine

[19:36]  Mehrunes Unsworth: good evening

[19:36]  Beth Ronmark turning paler looks between Sundance and Mehrunes and back to Sundance again, muttering under her breath about the world swallowing her whole “Tal Free”

[19:36]  Sundance Churchill looks to his left, “Tal Meh!” he shrugs and replies dryly turning to Beth briefly, “I only collar free woman who beg for it..”

[19:36]  Ania Starfall smiles as she holds out her hand: Tal Father *bows her head politely* Captain Hew *sneers* Sundance… ladies *holds out her hand* Mehrunes

[19:37]  Dark Starr: Aye Sun, they are too much trouble otherwise but I’d not be above the occasional lesson

[19:37]  erin27 Bailey: looks to Beth at the comment and sees her blush…whispers he takes off your clothes with his eyes…you should leave

[19:38]  Sundance Churchill leans in, his excellent hearing a trait inherited from his father, he whispers louder, “I already know what lies beneath dear,, and I am no threat to her.. only she can betray herself..”

[19:38]  Beth Ronmark swallowing hard at his pointed words, suddenly feeling very naked, straightening the steel in her spine, whispering back to Erin “I’m fine.” casting a sideways glance to Mehrunes, breathing a small sigh of relief. eyes again filling with panic as she hears Sundance’s words, glaring at him

[19:39]  erin27 Bailey: all I wanted was a glass of wine

[19:40]  Sundance Churchill averts his gaze from Beth to give her a rest and turns to his old friend, “How have you been Meh? It’s been ages..”

[19:40]  Mehrunes Unsworth: ups and downs

[19:40]  erin27 Bailey: whispers quietly to Beth—did you? with him? a slaver??

[19:40]  Hew Dawid: I think you should have wine lady wash that dessert down

[19:40]  Sundance Churchill smiles, “Life or slave girls?”

[19:41]  erin27 Bailey: smiles yes, that would be nice

[19:41]  Beth Ronmark looking into the bottom of the empty goblet, cursing under her tongue. Looks up at Ania “Lady how have you been?” pointedly ignoring Erin’s question.

[19:42]  erin27 Bailey: Smiles to the Captain, the wine Sir—laughs

[19:43]  Ania Starfall looks over and forces a smile: I am well, I did want to speak to you about an order of your wares sometime later this hand

[19:43]  Hew Dawid: it’s in the tavern lady

[19:43]  Beth Ronmark nods “Most definitely Lady.”

[19:43]  erin27 Bailey: A lady does not go unescorted into the tavern

[19:44]  Hew Dawid: smiles

[19:44]  Mehrunes Unsworth: its finny to see them try though

[19:44]  Sundance Churchill snorts, not speaking to anyone in particular, “I like this game…”

[19:44]  Ania Starfall waves her arm and moves her head: fallow me I’ll be your escort, besides I have word I need to appraise the place for sale again

[19:45]  Hew Dawid: it’s a fun game indeed

[19:45]  erin27 Bailey: you speak of fur coats and wine

[19:45]  Dark Starr: Aye, have fun all I need to oversee some building on the Green Pier

[19:45]  erin27 Bailey: and then have none—laughs.

[19:46]  Ania Starfall: well wishes father

[19:46]  Hew Dawid: oh I have luxurious furs lady

[19:46]  erin27 Bailey: from your travels

[19:46]  Hew Dawid: luscious and deep like the wine you crave

[19:47]  erin27 Bailey: yes the wine, I could really use some

[19:47]  Sundance Churchill snickers and wanders over closer to Beth, “So.. what do you do here in Kar?” he arches an eyebrow.

[19:47]  Hew Dawid: well there is my office I may have a bottle there

[19:48]  erin27 Bailey: I would love to try it

[19:48]  Beth Ronmark running her palms, down her skirt, drying them briefly , eyes looking down at the stones beneath her feet wondering just how fast they could carry her in these shoes. Looking up swallowing hard as she feels him close to her, muttering “I … I…I” biting her lip, looking him square in the eyes, her shoulders going back with proud indignation “Oh hell I’m the candy shop owner.”

[19:49]  Djinn Christensen waves as he dashes by

[19:49]  Hew Dawid: indeed? well lady ill gladly show you it

[19:50]  Sundance Churchill claps his hands together and rubs them roughly, “What kinds of candy? what’s your specialty?”

[19:51]  Sundance Churchill looks around and notes everyone has left, “He checks his breath and pits”

[19:51]  Beth Ronmark eyes discreetly looking him over, reaching into her pocket for another bit of candy, growling “damn things aren’t working” muttering to herself “Come I’ll show”
[19:51]  Beth Ronmark: *you

[19:54]  Sundance Churchill whispers, “What are they supposed to be doing?” he nods his head indicating he will follow

[19:54]  Ania Starfall shouts: CAPTIAN DIJINN!

[19:54]  Djinn Christensen shouts: aye lass?

[19:54]  Beth Ronmark shrugs “Whom?” leading the way to her shop

[19:55]  Djinn Christensen shouts: come on in its unlocked

Entering the Candy Shoppe

[19:55]  Sundance Churchill steps up, perhaps too close, he leans in and takes a whiff of her hair, “Spectacular” he whispers.

[19:56]  Beth Ronmark enters, feeling at ease in her own surroundings, feeling him behind her, skin tingling, burning as she turns around to face him “Welcome to Sweet Revenge Sir, best candy in all of Gor!”

[19:57]  Sundance Churchill tilts his head and looks at her, he reaches up and brushes an errant hair off her cheek, and “It is splendid. I am happy you have found a place that makes you happy..” his gaze softens and he looks around at the confections.

[19:59]  Beth Ronmark eyes closing, head turning gently into his hand as he brushes the hair from her cheek, a single tear escaping, rolling down the swell of her cheek as her eyes open “It is” pausing “home.”

[19:59]  Sundance Churchill turns a bit, still looking around, he whispers, “If you need anything you only need ask..”

[20:01]  Beth Ronmark licks her lips, whispering “There is a lot I need” walking behind the counter pulling out a jar of the ‘special’ cherries “care to try one?”

[20:02]  Sundance Churchill extends his hand and smiles, “Name it.. what do you need?”

[20:03]  Beth Ronmark opens the jar, pulling out a cherry, popping it into her mouth before giving him one “Ohhh, that’s so loaded Sir.”

[20:04]  Sundance Churchill leans against the wall and turns to face her, “Have you ever known me to be deceptive or honor less?

[20:06]  Beth Ronmark shakes her head “No, for the entire time I’ve known you you’ve only been honorable.” eyes lowering, her voice with it “It’s been a long time. I’ve tried everything to stop the craving. Ju said it would go away.” looking up at him, eyes darkening “but it just won’t!”

[[20:08]  Beth Ronmark eyes brimming over “and it’s not just that! Do you know the last time I was held?” turning her back to him. “I look at the slaves cradled by their Masters, the gentle looks sometimes between companions and I realize for the first time I’m alone.”

[20:09]  Sundance Churchill smiles sympathetically, “Is it so bad? It is impossible for an inferno to become a matchstick, Beth.. you do not have to deny what you are deep inside.. there is no failure in being a vibrant and vital woman.. a complete woman.. you just have to be careful who knows it.. lest you lose what you think you want.” he shrugs a bit and makes sure no one is peering in the window of the shop, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her in tightly, whispering, “You are not alone..”

[20:12]  Beth Ronmark body shaking as she sobs letting her body relax against his, tears leaving a mark on his tunic as she rests her cheek against his cheast, breathing in his familiar smell. Sniffing, slightly chuckling “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be such a woman crying like this.”

Being so close …

May 12, 2010 at 11:06 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I sent out three letters. One secretly to Lady Kyss as it is rumored she resides in the village at the base of the mountain below the mysterious Treve. We are at war with them. Another to Lady Ju who’s still in Hammerskog. And one disguised in candy to Twist as I have her Master’s permission to send her some.

As I sit in my apartment, the sounds of Port Kar are drowned out by the loneliness in my heart. It’s been some time now that I was released. My life as a Free Woman often feels like a lie, even worse a nightmare I can’t wake up from. So foolish I was to challenge him like I did. So foolish to never truly show him the depths of my feelings for him. Looking back I told him thousands of times that I loved him, but how often did I make him feel it with my actions. If only I could go back and try again. But would it have ended any different?

The other day I thought I saw him in Kar. Rumor around the city is that he was in the port, but at that point I’d just returned from Hammerskog and was busy with the paper work for their next order.

To look at me, one would not realize the true feelings that lie inside. I don’t stay busy just for the success, but more for the fact that it stops me, most days from thinking about him. I smile when I would really like to curl up and cry. Every day is the same, I continue to live, ignoring the pain, the heartache as I screw on a smile and go about my business.

Ben knows the truth. He is a good man. On our trip he made sure I had my space to let my pain take over. Something about the lull of sea gives me the freedom to cry, to feel angry. It holds me, cradling my broken soul bringing me comfort. For a moment it is though I’m safe again in his arm, the feel of his collar heavy around my neck. If I close my eyes tight enough I can hear his voice on the ocean wind, his smell surrounding me as the wind blows into the sails.

There is a song I would listen to on earth, never really understanding the words, now I understand them.

“What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken”

As I dry my eyes, preparing again to lead my new life, I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing. Does he think of me? Does he hurt and crave for me as much as I hurt and crave for him? I miss him. Will this ever go away?

With much love,

Lady Beth